Trying to live as if I am dying in one year is really difficult. It sounds morbid, but it definitely makes me think. During the last few days, I’ve taken more time to wake up slowly… to slow down in the morning while getting ready, to cuddle with Tink a little longer than normal, to take a little longer in the shower.

It’s definitely made me slow down. At first, I thought I was going to feel hurried, since I would only have a year left. I’m surprised to see that it’s done the opposite of exactly that.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about relationships. All the people I’ve met in the past… feeling sad that I would not be able to talk to them again, and learning to accept that as a “final goodbye,” so to speak. I’ve been thinking, even, about possibly getting back in touch with some of them, and “settling” things that haven’t been settled before.

Scary thought… really scary thought…