Dear M.,

We were friends for a long time, and I feel it’s finally time to say goodbye. I pretend sometimes that I don’t remember you, or that I’m not mad over what happened. I pretend sometimes that I don’t see you, and that I don’t want you to see me. I pretend sometimes that I wasn’t hurt, that I’m in denial, and that I don’t need to recognize our friendship from way long past. Keeping all these emotions on my shoulders is too hard, especially since I’m starting to practice dying. I don’t want to leave these anvils of thoughts and feelings loaded while I’m walking. It keeps me from flying and floating.

We are okay. Even though we don’t talk anymore, I sense that you are okay. I sense that you are happy where you are, and some days you may not be, but I sense that generally, you are okay. You were a great friend while we were friends, and I am no longer angry with you. I am no longer angry with myself for letting you go. I’m feeling okay. Thank you for coming into my life, for giving me you for a short time. It was a blessing, and I am humbled by our friendship together.

I say goodbye, knowing that I had said hello. It is not a mean goodbye, nor is it an unwilling one, or one that is in denial. I say goodbye knowing that it is better to have met you and lost you, than to not have met you at all. Thank you.

Love,

Helen