Today while I was watching “Breaking and Entering,” Dave said, “It’s got Jude Law in it. I’m not watching it.” So then the conversation continued to this:

Me: Jude Law’s hot. I got a wee little crush on him.
Dave: What? Whaattt?
Me: Yeah, he’s hot!
Dave: …

5 minutes later:

Dave: I heard Jude Law beats his wife.
Me: I don’t think he’s got a wife.
Dave: He used to beat his wife. Now he beats his girlfriend.
Me: Wha? Are you serious? Where’d you read that?
Dave: Oh it’s been all over the news.
Me: You’re totally lying!
Dave: And he beats puppies, too.
Me: Dave: And he eats babies. For dinner.
Me: Are you jealous of Jude Law?
Dave: Why would I be jealous of someone who eats babies and beats puppies?
Me: You’re jealous of a movie star!!
Dave: I am not! He beats his girlfriend!!!!
Me: You’re so cute when you’re jealous.
Dave: *huff*