As Dave and I get closer to buying our first home (we’re thinking within the next couple of years, hopefully?), we’ve been talking a lot about where we want to live. There are several options, and we’re pretty excited about them all. We want to somehow stay near the beach (perhaps peruse some folly beach homes for sale - our dream home would be RIGHT on the beach, of course, but whose isn’t?!), but definitely near family. We’ve talked also about making our home as “green” as possible, with self-heated floors and walls so we don’t waste electricity, and solar energy to light our home, and everything re-manufactured and recycled. We’ve seen it done, so we’re hoping that one day we’d be able to own our very own earthship. I don’t think we’d be able to do it with our next home, but maybe the one after that when we’ve saved enough money to actually build our own home by the beach and have it free of energy costs (both financially and environmentally). It would be so cool. It’s an exciting time, when we start talking about buying a home and stuff.

Welp, we’re safe and sound, in NC. The flight altogether, with the two stop-overs, was about 12 hours in total. Yup. It was crazy. We were both incredibly tired to begin with. Dave didn’t even go to sleep at all on Friday night; he figured that he would just stay awake since we had to get up at 3am to get ready to go to the airport and be there by 4:30am. I tried to “nap” a few hours before 3am, but it wasn’t very restful since I knew I had to get up. So we were both tired and grumpy throughout the whole trip.

When we got to my parents’ house, we were literally bombarded with like, 324242343 Vietnamese people, all yelling and screaming and having a huge commotion. It was like we were celebrities. Everyone started clapping when Dave and I walked in (poor guy was so overwhelmed he looked shell-shocked). If you know anything about the asian family system, you would also know that they are VERY LOUD. The womenfolk were all gathered in the kitchen, the menfolk were all gathered in the living room. There was a videotape going too, as introductions were made to Dave. A flurry of the Vietnamese language surrounded the entire house, and poor Dave was so overwhelmed. Then they started to follow us around like we were the King and Queen of England or something. Mom made us a meal (we hadn’t had a good meal throughout the whole day), and the majority of my relatives sat there and stared at us eat. LOL My uncles and my aunts were all surrounding us and asked us lots of questions, and I tried to translate as much as I can for him.

So now we’re in bed (stole Sisser’s bed — and room O.o) and the husband is sound asleep (he hadn’t slept in 30 hours or so), and I’m just surfing the internet on my laptop. I can still hear the rest of the family throughout the rest of the house chatting and laughing away. It certainly is a change from our usual quiet surroundings, that’s for sure. Heh. However, so far so good. Everything is going smoothly.

With all these new projects I have in mind, I think I’ll be investing in some advertising pens for one of my businesses. It will be a good way to advertise my website where all my artwork will be sold. That is, if I ever get off my arse and start working.

Lots of planning to do, folks. In the meantime, I will go and have some noodles with fake crab and have a lie down. We have to wake up at 3am to catch our early, early flight tomorrow to NC. Oi. I hope you all have an awesome weekend! Tomorrow I will officially be going into my second trimester with Baby Bean! :)

Man, is there no end to this madness? Yesterday I actually went out of my way to drive in the cold rain and then later in the cold snow in order to have this wonderful terriyaki dish for lunch. Granted, I had company, so that wasn’t too painful. Jenbug at work was dragged to go with me. It was such a marvelous lunch. I am so glad my taste buds are coming back, and things no longer taste like plastic. Mm mm mmm. And then for dinner I had mango rice coconut thingie for dessert. YUM. Mangoes. Yes, I’m still on my mango kick.

Poor Jenbug hasn’t been able to go to lunch to any other restaurant other than the ones I keep dragging her to, which notably are the same 3 or 4 in town. The poor girl says yesterday she’s starting to hate “asian” food. LOL And yet I still can’t eat pizza. Maybe she’ll take her revenge out on me when she’s pregnant and drags me to all sorts of restaurants I don’t wanna go to, too. That’s what good friends are for.

I have to start getting ready for our long weekend away this weekend to North Carolina. We’re spending New Year’s at my parents’ this year. It’s going to be a full house, with lots and lots and LOTS of relatives coming, and I’m not entirely prepared for what’s going to happen. It’s supposed to be a “second ceremony” for our wedding, but the pregnancy kind of put a kink into things because I can no longer fit into my white wedding dress or my Vietnamese custom-made traditional wedding attire. I haven’t actually tried them on yet, but seeing as how all of my pants are now too tight for me, I can tell custom-made-to-fit wedding gowns aren’t gonna do a thing for comfort and the ability to breathe for me. I told my mom that there’s no way I’ll be able to fit into these dresses, and we’re kind of stumped on what to do at this point. Heh. I guess just dress up really nicely and go out for dinner? The whole point for me is to introduce Dave to more of my side of the family. My mom wants a Vietnamese-side ceremony that she wasn’t able to have with our actual wedding in July (plans to go to Vietnam for this fell through because of many outlying reasons, most notably the lack of funds :P).

Anyway, other preparations also include getting some appropriate luggage. I wonder if travelpro luggage has what I have in mind: I need a specialized suitcase of some sort to put our formal attires in. I don’t really want to fold my wedding dress. It’s too darn special for that. I’ll have to start looking around. And with my bank account at a whopping $12 until payday next Monday, it’s going to be difficult to do anything at this point. Hmmm…

I think I have some of the best family in the world — my adopted family. I feel so close to Dave’s family, I’m so blessed to have them in my life. They are my karma family. I must have done something good somewhere along the line to deserve such good family. They weren’t around when I was growing up, but damn do they make my adulthood that much more enjoyable. I can only imagine what could’ve been if I had a family like this when I was growing up. It gets me all teary eyed.

For example, I have a sister-in-law whose name shall be unnamed for now. She is one of Dave’s brother’s wife, so she and I are pretty far removed as far as blood relations go. However, I just can’t get over what a wonderful mother she is, and what a supportive, wonderful sister she has become to me. Not only did she bend over backwards to help us with our wedding — all volunteer work, mind you — she has now taken me under her wing as soon as she heard I was pregnant. She seems almost as excited as we are. It’s such a joy. And the best part is, she is also trying for another child, and we were going to be pregnant at the same time. Their efforts aren’t as successful this time around as ours is, but that hasn’t stopped her from just embracing my pregnancy as if it’s her own. She checks in with me all the time, she takes me shopping, she gives me tips and advice, she wants to know every step of the way how I’m doing and how I’m feeling. I’m so grateful. I really enjoy her company, and I really am appreciative that she can put aside her own troubles to be by my side, supportive and lovely. I really admire people like that, who don’t let their own troubles get in the way of being happy for other people. She told me from the get-go, when she found out I was pregnant, “Well, I’m entirely jealous, but I’m SO HAPPY for you!!!” And I knew she meant it. I’m so so so appreciative of that. I can only imagine how hard it is for her to try for the last 7 months to get pregnant with no avail, but it hasn’t stopped her from being all girly and giggly with me at the same time. It really makes me feel that much closer to her.

Pregnancy is such a weird thing. Ever since I got pregnant, I can tell who is genuinely happy for me, and who doesn’t really want anything to do with me. I don’t know what stops other people from being genuinely happy for others’ good fortunes and good news, but I can’t imagine being in their shoes. I am left in such an awkward position sometimes, knowing some of my friends and family are trying to get pregnant and can’t for whatever reason, and knowing that they want to be happy for me. For some of them, being empathetic and genuinely happy for me comes naturally, while for others — I don’t know, I feel like I’ve lost some good people in my life ever since I’ve become pregnant. I feel like I’m being pushed away for something that is not my fault. In fact, I shouldn’t have to feel bad about such a beautiful tiding as having a child, but I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with some women. I just don’t get it.

It leaves me in a weird position, because I don’t know what to do about this. I don’t want to rub salt on the wound, so to speak, but I seriously want to share this joy with as many people I love as I can. It leaves me stifled, as if I’m not allowed to share this joy, or that I have to downplay it. And worse yet, it makes me feel like they don’t want me around to talk about it. I can understand. I’ve lived with the fear of not being able to have children ever since I was a teenager, and Dave and I actually had a lot of long talks about our “options” if that were ever to be the case with us. I told him that I would never want to be one of those women who can’t stand looking at pregnant women just because of my own sorrow at not being able to have children. I told him I wouldn’t want to isolate myself against my friends who are having children, because I’m jealous or sad or whatever. I told him that I want to genuinely be happy for those around me who become pregnant, ESPECIALLY people who I know would be good parents to begin with.

And then, suddenly, I find myself on the other side of that fear coin: I’m not the one who is jealous of other women getting pregnant; suddenly I’m the pregnant woman other women are avoiding because they can’t get pregnant. Geez. I never thought that would be the day.

I don’t know. Pregnancy strikes people very funny. So far, the majority of those I know and love and who know me have been ecstatic for me, asking me every chance they get how I’m doing, getting excited with me, making plans with me. Some of my friends in California have even speculated visiting me when the baby comes, sharing in the first few days of Baby Bean’s existence with us and the family. I am so grateful for those people. I just wish I didn’t lose those one or two friends along the way because I would love to include them more in this beautiful occasion.

Am I being too unreasonable? Do I seem like I want to rub salt on their wound by wanting to include them in what is important in my life? Do I appear selfish because I want to be there for them to talk to when they are feeling down about not being able to have children? My sister-in-law and I share in a lot of things. When we’re not talking about my pregnancy, we’re talking about her efforts, her many doctor’s appointments, her medications and what she’s doing, etc. I feel so much closer to her, that there isn’t this big WALL in between us. I feel like every time I see her, I don’t have to hide the fact that I’m pregnant. I know that when I look into her eyes, she is so genuinely happy for us. Why can’t all women be like this? Why can’t we all be genuinely happy for each other, despite what we’re each going through individually? The world’s too small and too cold to isolate ourselves from each other.

Anyway, that’s my little tidbit for the day. I gotta go chase a crazy, hyper cat now.

Well, maybe today I will do a bit more cleaning. The house is in general good shape (I cleaned right before Christmas, to avoid the mess that I would have to clean up again afterwards). We may even pack away the Christmas tree tonight, depending on how ambitious we are, and how much I can convince Dave to help me pack it away. I won’t have much time to do it after the new year since we’ll be spending it at my parents’ house this year. Hopefully in the new year we would get some things done, like the bathroom in the en suite (goddamn it, husband, can you just FINISH IT ALREADY?! O.o), and start on the baby’s room (and finish it by June-ish so the paint fumes don’t linger when they baby arrives), and maybe even fix our plumbing fixtures in the main bathroom once and for all. It’s not too bad, and it doesn’t leak, but we can’t use the plug properly.

Lots of things for the new year. Is it just me, or do you also start planning a to-do list RIGHT after Christmas? Kinda annoying. I can’t relax unless the house is clean. Am I weird, or am I just nesting? Maybe both? Haha.

So Christmas came and went, eh? It was a very good Christmas. I hope yours was the same. Today is Boxing Day in Canada, and there is no way in my right mind that I will ever go near a shopping mall today. All the sales are here, and all the crazy people are out looking for bargains, pushing and shoving and waiting. No, sirreebob, not for me! Besides, I couldn’t go shopping even if I wanted to — I’m so flat broke, it ain’t even funny. This year, Christmas left me completely empty-pocketed, though still totally worth it. I’m almost desperate to get paid next Monday — NEXT MONDAY! It seems so far away.

I’m missing my brother and sister something fierce this holiday season, which is a little unusual since we hardly spend the holidays together. However, I really miss them and I can’t wait to see them next weekend. We’re going to NC for 3 days to visit the parents and the extended relatives, so that should be fun. At least the food is going to be outstanding (my mom and my aunt both are amazing cooks and I can’t wait to eat their food!).

Speaking of bar stools from the other post, I realized where ours actually did go. Sylv took them. I somehow forgot about that. Strange. Well, at least she’s using them. We never really did use them, and they were actually Tink’s little jungle gym play things, where she’d hop onto one in order to get on top of our kitchen counter, which we don’t want her to do.

I’m officially on vacation. WOO! I’m sort of caught up on paperwork at work, but not really. I have a lot left to do, but won’t start those until after Christmas is done with. It’s snowing outside and I was going to take Chelsea shopping for her birthday gift from last month, but no one seems to feel comfortable (including me) with me driving in the snow, so we postponed it. Heh. I was going to go get some color ink too, as I need it for my printer so I can make some vector graphics for Dave’s sister for Christmas. Grrr.

So yesterday was a fun-filled day! I went shopping with Gran — mostly for her stuff than mine, since I had no money left until payday. However, I did manage to find a pair of maternity pants that fit me well. None of my pants fit me at all, and it’s really rather quite frustrating, to say the very least. Especially for work, none of my court pants fit me — they all put pressure on my stomach and make it very uncomfortable to wear. Now that Baby Bean is growing exponentially, I notice my lower tummy get bigger by the day. Seriously, by the day! And what’s furthermore frustrating is that I’m so small to begin with, most maternity pants are huge on me. I tried on about 8 before I found one that I wasn’t swimming in, and they were all sized “XS.” I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining, but I am all about comfort right now. I’ll have to go back after payday to get some more pairs of maternity pants - otherwise I’d end up wearing the same pants everyday. Heh.

I’m 11 weeks along today. Still nauseous, very tired, but overall extremely excited and happy. Baby Bean and I are doing well.