*yawn* Where do weeks go now, anyway? All of a sudden, it’s Monday again, and it’s the start of another work week. I have three solid cases now, so I’m “full time” in my own terms. Can’t take anymore. I want to dedicate most of my time to being home with Lily Bean, even though Dave is home full time. Can’t stay away from her for too long. Also not a good idea to be too immersed in work. I need my sanity to deal with cloth diaper issues and spit up and stuff like that, don’tcha know?

Life is gratefully very simple. Everyday is predictable, everyday is exciting in its predictability. I could not be asking for more. I don’t want “more.” This is it. This is what I’ve been working towards. All of a sudden, I turn around and I’m turning 28 in a few days, and I’ve got so much to show for it. A great husband, a beautiful and intelligent and calm daughter, a satisfying career, my good health, great family, awesome friends. What more can a girl ask for? Just enough money to pay the bills and a little on the side for play, and we’re all set to go. It’s a good life. Everything else is icing on the cake, and everything else isn’t too necessary. Like skin acne products and clothes (really, if you think about it, we just need about 7 outfits and we’re set!) and shoes shoes shoes and purses and bags. Those things are just… stuff. Stuff I can live without and stuff I wouldn’t be taking with me in case of fire. That’s what you gotta think about.

It’s a good way to live, to remind yourself the important things in life. The people, the minimal “stuff.” Ask yourself: in case of a fire, what would I take out with me in the minimal time that I have? Those are the things you need, and everything else is just “stuff.” For me, outside of making sure everything that can breathe and cuddle are safe outside of the burning house, it’s my hard drive (photos and journal entries galore!),… and that’s about it. I can’t see taking anything else with me that is that important. So everything I accumulate outside of my photos and writing in my hard drive is just “icing.”

So there ya go. It’s a good way to live. A grateful, simple life.

Surveys are way too much fun. I should really be sleeping. This was stolen from Amber and Candice, whose sites I am too lazy to link.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I sleep with them close. In fact, there are barriers to keep them close because Tink likes to open closet doors while we’re sleeping and mess around with whatever she can find inside. Weirdo cat.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
I don’t always. Sometimes I do just to have them around for travel purposes. Heh.

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Tucked out. Totally. I can’t stand the feeling of being all tucked in and “trapped.”

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Er… no. Why the heck would I?

Do you like to use post-it notes?
Yeah but after a while I get annoyed that there are so many loose ones around, and then I have to clean up.

Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I don’t even look at them. Too lazy.

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Erm. That’s a tough call. Probably a swarm of bees? I know I’m not allergic, so I guess the bees. Weirdo.

Do you have freckles?
Nope.

Do you always smile for pictures?
Nope. Depending on my mood and the purpose of the photo.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
Selfish people, people who can’t do the “right” thing because it’s too “hard” for them or inconvenient for them, people who purposefully hurt others for the hell of it, constant whiners, people who don’t signal. Er. Yeah. Heh.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
When I’m bored, I guess?

Have you ever peed in the woods?
Yeah. Who hasn’t? Bushes are cool.

What about pooped in the woods?
Erm, not that I can remember.

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?
I didn’t used to, but now I dance with Lily Bean all the time, and I sing songs to her and make up songs during the process.

Do you chew your pens and pencils?
I used to as a kid, but not anymore.

How many people have you slept with this week?
Just one: the husband. Hehe.

What size is your bed?
Queen size. I want us to get a king size, but that may be a while yet.

What is your Song of the week?
Probably Azure Ray’s “Another Week” just because I love the melody.

Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Sure, why not? If it’s okay for girls to wear blue, guys can wear pink.

Do you still watch cartoons?
All the time. Everyday. Heh.

What’s your least favorite movie?
I don’t have one, I don’t think.

Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
Why would I bury it when I can use it?

What do you drink with dinner?
Usually water.

What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don’t. I’m a vegetarian.

What is your favorite food?
Fried rice and orange julius right now.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Mary Poppins, Kundun

Last person you kissed/kissed you?
The husband, just today. And I kissed Lily Bean a lot today.

Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
No, but I wanted to be!!

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Depending on the magazine, maybe. It would have to be a really cool, artistically creative magazine for like, the arts or something. Or maybe science.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
On paper? A letter? What’s that?

Can you change the oil on a car?
Yup, but barely.

Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Oh yes. Shamefully, too many times.

Ran out of gas?
Nope, thank goodness.

Favorite kind of sandwich?
Ermm… it was spam sandwich when I was still eating meat. Now I don’t eat sandwiches much, so I don’t have a favorite.

Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Soup, rice.

What is your usual bedtime?
Around 10p to midnight.

Are you lazy?
I can be, but not much these days. I have too much energy.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I never really did.

What is your Chinese astrological sign?
“And how does a monkey go, baby? Ooh ooh ooh!”

How many languages can you speak?
Three - english, vietnamese, choo-chau chinese (but very little now)

Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
National Geographics

Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos, definitely. Lincoln logs are cool too though.

Are you stubborn?
Sometimes I can be. Most of the time I’d like to think I’m pretty open-minded.

Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
Neither.

Ever watch soap operas?
I used to watch Days of Our Lives, but that was 10 years ago.

Afraid of heights?
Not really.

Sing in the car?
Yeah, all the time.

Dance in the shower?
Er, no. Too slippery.

Dance in the car?
How the heck do you dance in a car?

Ever used a gun?
No.

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Our wedding, probably.

Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Yes. Very much so. Except Mary Poppins.

Is Christmas stressful?
Only with the whole financial piece. It was stressful when I was younger cuz we had to stay home and not celebrate it. Now it’s fun.

Ever eat a perogie?
No.

Favorite type of fruit pie?
Orange! Er. I don’t eat pie.

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A molecular scientist. I didn’t know what that was, but I thought that sounded pretty cool. Heh.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes.

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes, a lot.

Take a vitamin daily?
Yes, my postnatal vitamins.

Wear slippers?
Nope. Barefoot for me.

Wear a bath robe?
Nope. I just walk out nakie sometimes.

What do you wear to bed?
Tank top and pj pants.

First concert?
Goo Goo Dolls, I believe.

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target. Totally.

Nike or Adidas?
Adidas.

Cheetos Or Fritos?
Fritos.

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts.

Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
No.

Ever take dance lessons?
No.

Is there a profession you picture your spouse doing?
Mad scientist? He’d be someone who would want to put wings on pigs just to say, “When pigs FLY, dude! Oh - yeah, they can now! MUahahha!”

Can you curl your tongue?
Yes.

Ever won a spelling bee?
I came in second.

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes.

Own any record albums?
Lots.

Own a record player?
No. I don’t even own unlocked cell phones, let alone record players.

Regularly burn incense?
Used to.

Ever been in love?
Yes, currently.

Who would you like to see in concert?
Sarah McLachlan again. Maybe The White Stripes and The Raconteurs.

What was the last concert you saw?
Erm.. probably Jann Arden?

Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot tea.

Tea or coffee?
Tea.

Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Sugar. What are snickerdoodles?

Can you swim well?
No.

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes.

Are you patient?
Yes.

DJ or band, at a wedding?
Neither. Laptop.

Ever won a contest?
Not that I can recall.

Ever have plastic surgery?
No.

Which are better black or green olives?
Neither. Ew.

Can you knit or crochet?
Knit.

Best room for a fireplace?
Living room.

Do you want to get married?
I’m already married.

If married, how long have you been married?
One year and 3 months.

Who was your HS crush?
This dude named Adam.

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Haha, no.

Do you have kids?
YES! The infamous Lily Bean!

Do you want kids?
Yes. :)

Whats your favorite color?
Green and yellow.

Do you miss anyone right now?
My sisser.

Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX?
No. It’s lame.

So yesterday, I turned in my absentee ballot for the federal and state elections this year. I was almost surprised to find out that there are actually 9 people running for president, 7 of whom never got any air-time in any of the nation’s media. They were skipped out of the “presidential” debates entirely. I give them all kudos for having the nerve to even run for president, knowing that they would never win, or even get represented as a presidential candidate in America’s history. I would have voted for Nader, or even the Green Party’s representative (whose name I have already forgotten, giving valid proof that they almost don’t matter), but this isn’t Canada, or the UK, or any other country that allows their candidates to be represented fully. This is the “United” States of America, where only two people can run for president. Not “everyone” can be president because after all, the last two presidential candidates four years ago happened to be cousins to one another.

It makes me angry, really, to see these candidates on the ballot and feeling like my hands are tied that I cannot vote for the person I think would be better at the job because I know I would be throwing my vote away. In Canada, a percentage of the votes for every party gets represented in “seats” in the government. In the U.S., good luck in hell when that happens. In Canada, even minority parties get represented, depending on how many votes they get. In the U.S., there are only two parties worth mentioning: democratic and republican. In Canada, when there is a prime minister debate, there are all the parties up there, debating with one another, sometimes as many as 5 people talking seriously about the issues. In the U.S., presidential candidates who are not from the Democratic or Republican party get arrested for even showing up at the debates. In Canada, I wouldn’t be throwing my vote away if I didn’t vote for one of the top two representatives. I would know that at least my vote counted for a percentage and therefore my party would have a “seat.” In the U.S., a vote not for the Democratic party is a vote for the Republican party. Oh, what a “free” country we live in.

It seems counterproductive when people get angry that Ralph Nader has again run for president. People accuse him of allowing votes to be thrown away, thereby essentially “handing” votes to the Republican candidate because after all, what chance in hell does he have of winning? And yet, I keep going back to the lesson that my 1st grade teacher kept telling us: “Anyone can run for president.” Sure, anyone can run, but not anyone can win. Sure, anyone can run, but you can’t just vote for “anyone” and make it count. Sure, anyone can run, but who is Mr. Anyone going to get corporate endorsements if that Anyone doesn’t promise corporations and sleazy CEOs a percentage of their wealth and fame once president? Sure, “anyone” can run, but how many impoverished, blue collar middle class black women who are raising ten fatherless children do you know have run for president in this country’s history?

That’s right. None.

So, with every election that passes, I feel a sense of duty and a sense of loss. I voted for the least of two evils (though I have to admit, during this election, I am more excited about Obama than I have been with any candidate running for president in the past; even Clinton). With every vote where I’m not voting for my heart, I feel like I’m selling just a tiny bit of my soul away, and condoning this country’s fake democracy.

But there you have it. Not enough of us are angry enough to do anything about it. Most of us are too busy looking for top rated diet pills to shove down our throats so we can look like Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie. *shudder*

It’s funny what drives me these days. Last night, while getting ready for bed, I realized just how much my life has changed since Lily Bean was born. Conversations revolve around her, events revolve around her, priorities revolve around her. Everything changes. I don’t miss life before her. In fact, I hardly remember what life was like before her. The “freedom” to do whatever I want? Now I realize that something was missing in that “freedom.” She was missing in my arms all along.

So, now my days are spent analyzing poop, pee, changing cloth diapers and analyzing how they work, talking to new and experienced mothers on the internet almost on a daily basis regarding said poop, pee, and cloth diapering. I’ve joined various parenting and gdiaper/cloth diaper groups on the internet, and we spend all day, everyday (practically, in between naps and such), with me on my laptop analyzing each other’s poops, asking for advice on various things such as wipe solutions and position gdiapers and how to wash liners without using the dryer. I can’t believe how *into* it I am. I would’ve laughed if someone suggested to me a year ago that I would spend all my time on the internet researching poop colors and dirty diapers.

My life isn’t at all glamorous. Hell, it wasn’t even glamorous before I got pregnant. I find it amusing and interesting at the same time that I am so proudly displaying photos of her poop for whoever wants to see (I know I know: ew). Seriously, you don’t know just how much a kid changes you until you have one. And still yet, some mothers don’t change at all when they should. Motherhood, I’ve realized, is more of a choice and a privilege than it is a right or an automatic. Not everyone can be a mother, or a father. Just because you can get pregnant, have a sperm and an egg meet and go through the entire gestation period and give birth doesn’t make you a mother. I don’t know what makes you a mother. Is it the passion? The utter, blind acceptance of the new and awesome responsibility you now have towards another person? The complete devotion and dedication of all things that concern your baby? All of the above. It is going throughout your day having a dull sensation of love at the back of your heart that is always with you, even when you’re talking to someone else, having a meeting at work, being stuck in traffic. It is cleaning dirty diapers with utter excitement (read: “And what kind of wonderful artwork do you have for Mommy now, baby? OH GOOD, it’s a POOP!! GOOD JOB, BABY GIRL!! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!”), researching all the different ways on how to protect and guide your baby, talking seriously about parenting her when she’s 3 years old, 5 years old, 10 years old, the dreaded 14 years old, 18 years old, and yes, even after she’s flown the nest. It is daydreaming of her wedding day and imagining the person she will give her heart to. It is listening to every love song with a slight twist now: they are no longer for couple relationships, they are also for mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships.

Love grows when you become a parent, but only if you are up for the challenge. Even her cries make me swell up with pride.

I thought this week’s Friday Five was ridiculous, so I went around looking for another Friday meme, and here it is: Friday Fun.

1. What is your idea of a perfect relaxing day?

Doing nothing but playing with Lily Bean all day long (besides changing her and feeding her and bathing her, that is).

2. Your first real boyfriend/girlfriend,… do you look back fondly or do you get the shudders? Where are they today?

I get the shudders. I think it’s because I was in love with love and not with him, so I settled for a nice dude who didn’t really have a lot in common with me. He’s in Australia, I presume. He’s semi-goth now, I think? Weird.

3. What was your favorite subject in school?

English, hands down. I’ve always loved to write and read and create poetry and prose. Writing essays was a good challenge for me. I still enjoy it, but more on a part-time, hobby-like basis now.

4. What is your favorite show on TV? Favorite book? Favorite song?

Favorite show right now is Heroes. Other shows that come close are Smallville and The Office. Favorite book has been and always will be The Secret Garden. Favorite song has been and always will be Sarah McLachlan’s “Song for a Winter’s Night.”

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

Probably Jude Law. He’s yummy with that sultry British accent.

6. To dye or not to dye the hair? If so, what color is your natural hair (if you remember!) and what color do you dye it?

Right now, my firm stance is that I will never dye my hair. I believe in going very natural. I’ve gotten a few gray hairs already (first ones I found were during graduate school — gee, I think it had something to do with the stress!). I’ve promised myself that I will be one of the very few women nowadays who will be proudly sporting her pepper-gray hair when she gets older. I hope I keep that promise. So far so good! My natural hair color is black.

When I was car shopping about a month ago, I SO had the itch to buy a Volkswagon. I would LOVE to have an Audi. Granted, they’re not as family-friendly right now, but the kind I want is so darn cute. I’d get it all turbo charged up and have it pimped up to the max. This is odd of me (of all people) to say that, since I’m not really into cars or rides. But, one of my favorite models has always been the VW. If I ever get a VW, which I hope to one day, I am going to check out Turbo Charger Pros and surf through all of their awesome merchandise to pimp my ride. They have so many different upgrades that can make your car not only look better, but perform better and faster too. Check it out!

Well, work today wasn’t so shabby after all. I worked for about three hours, and then went to Target to buy a couple of things for our upcoming niece (ready to make her debut any second now!) and some safety nail clippers for Lily Bean (it makes me nervous every time I cut her nails). I’ve been looking for sleeping gowns for her too, since it’s so easy to change her diaper when she’s in it. Plus, she looks so darn cute in it, I can’t help myself. But I’ve been unable to find any. Most stores don’t carry them anymore. I guess they’re too old fashioned or something?

Today we have Lily Bean’s 3-month doctor’s appointment. Getting her weighed and measured and that’s pretty much it. We don’t really have any glaring concerns about her health. She’s been seeing specialist after specialist for all sorts of things, just to make sure she’s growing properly and eating properly and developing properly and all that. And it’s wonderful to say that she has. Our little girl, as several doctors have pointed out, is “the picture of health.” Yay!

My my, how time flies. I can’t believe tomorrow is already Thursday. It marks my official day back to work, actually. I get my first client after maternity leave tomorrow, and I’m hoping to meet with them tomorrow as well so I don’t have to make another trip into town on Friday or early next week. Since I’m only going back part time, it will be easier this way. We’ll see how part time goes, and see how I handle being away from Lily Bean on a regular basis. I’m guessing my heart will continue to break on a regular basis.

As Lily Bean gets a little older and we get a little more used to her schedule (and making a schedule of our own for her), I’ve found that I’m beginning to get into a (new) routine as well. I have a little time in the morning and a little time in the evening after we put her to bed. I’m finding that I even have time to pick up reading again. I’ve read three books in the last month and a half. That’s amazing with a newborn baby! A little bit before bedtime, and a little bit in the morning when I’m done with my chores. Now there is the possibility of actually catching up with all these new books I’ve bought and put on their shelves. They’re just not for show anymore!

I’m also finding that for the sake of Lily, I’m turning off the tube more on a regular basis, so that the television isn’t on all the time. While I was pregnant, especially towards the end, I did a lot of lounging on the couch in front of the tv because I was too tired to do anything else (even READ!!). I got into that habit after a while and for the longest time, even when I wasn’t on the couch gazing off into the television set so it can steal my soul, the tv is still on for “background noise.” It’s annoyed the hell out of Dave, especially when we tend to see the same commercials over and over and over again, from weight loss products to television show advertisements to kids’ toys to whatever else they’re trying to sell us. Since Lily’s been born, we’ve noticed that she is attracted to the bright moving colors on the screen (or any screen, even our computer screens), and she just tends to stare at it zombielike. This freaked us out, so now we’ve turned the television off so she can get her bright-color stimulation elsewhere. Whew.

With everyone starting school after the summer, and people getting out of their summer vacations, it got me remembering back to last year around this time, when we were making plans to go on our honeymoon in Mexico. We stayed there for a week. We were already a few weeks along pregnant with Baby Beaner, but we were talking about toying with the idea of having a yearly getaway retreat. It’s not very likely right now, since finances are rather tight, but the thought of it is nice. I was looking into going to Branson, where the options for entertainment are abundant. They’ve got shows and even a theme park of their own. Of course, if we ever do decide to go, we’d go with Lily Bean. Can’t imagine leaving her behind anywhere!

Lovely Liz got me motivated to do this particular post, called Confessions.

• I don’t drink as much water as I should. I just keep forgetting!
• When no one’s looking, I sneak in handfuls of rice into my mouth from the rice cooker.
• Occasionally, I pick my nose when I think no one’s looking. Especially when there’s a huge ass booger in there.
• I also pick Lily’s nose when there’s a booger hanging off the edge. That annoys me.
• I have weird dreams about exes in my past. They sometimes consist of me going back to tell them off, other times they consist of us making amends and becoming friends. I get very confused about these dreams, especially since I don’t think of them at all during the day, nor have I talked to any of them in years.
• I am secretly hoping for lots of color ink for my birthday this year.
• Even though money is tight, I just bought two pairs of jeans from American Eagle. I hardly shop there because it’s so damn expensive. I feel like I deserved some “me” shopping though!!
• I am still recovering from my pregnancy brain, and find that I still have an iffy memory when it comes to appointments and such. However, oddly, I have the best memory when it comes to Lily Bean!

Well? What are you waiting for? What are your confessions? Do you pick your nose too? Hey, at least I don’t pick my butt!