Kinda like concrete countertops. Who would have thought that would look cool, right? But HGTV does magic. Magic, I tell you.

I am really loving my job. It is wonderful that my affiliate marketing programs happen to be other therapists and case managers in the community. I love surrounding myself in the healthcare and social services community. I love that my coworkers and my “competitors” happen to be teachers, counsellors, case managers, vocational therapists. I love that I’m not doing this for the money (but am grateful that I make enough to feed my family). I love that I am getting paid to help people.

I like being challenged like this. I like being challenged to look at the deeper meaning of life, the deeper meaning of myself, of me. Of what it feels like to have my job be my religion, where it is a part of my daily living, how I am a wife, how I am a mother. It makes me feel good that I worry more about people than about Ferrari parts. It makes me feel alive. I’m happy.

In other words, in different circumstances and with a different upbringing, I could be exactly in their place, homeless, drugged out, and with no support system.

Simply by saying, “Oh just let them kill themselves off and die. They deserve it anyway.” doesn’t make the problem go away. In fact, in many ways, it makes it worse. These are our people, our homes, whether or not we choose to accept them. These are the people who fall through the cracks. These are the people we are afraid to look at and when we do, we look at them with disgust because it is easier to do than to think, “Wow, this could be me in a different place and a different time.” These are the people who society turns their backs on because it’s easier to do than to admit that we have a problem that we need to get together and fix.

While driving home from the conference, I passed Hastings St. The two or three blocks where the homeless, the drug addicts, the sex workers all hung out struck me even more so than just that very morning when I passed through the same streets on my way to the conference. It was easier for me to ignore just 8 hours before, even though I’ve worked in this for about 5 years now. It was easier for me to say, “Oh well, poor souls.” and move on. Suddenly, I was struck by a deep understanding, a pitiful admittance about our society and the way we work. I find myself tearing up while I saw a cocaine-addicted sex worker roaming a corner, looking for her next fix, or her next client. I find myself wondering how I can responsibly go on with the rest of my life, without a care in the world, to my lovely new home, with my lovely new furniture, with my lovely family, to my lovely baby (who in different circumstances, could have, would have ended up where these people are).

I find myself staring blatantly in the face of our own failure as a human race. When we can’t even take care of our own. When we no more than blatantly commit cannibalism while we eat our own alive, through such abuse and ignorance. It is a societal cannibalistic act in and of itself, when we pretend that what we are doing to each other isn’t the same as what we are doing to ourselves.

(Anyone need atv?)

* sunny days
* weekends (I’m sure you don’t have to guess why)
* mornings with my Lily Bean where I get her all to myself
* going out with our Lily Bean
* getting compliments from strangers about our Lily Bean
* kisses and hugs from Lily Bean
* okay, okay… Lily Bean herself
* good fiction novels
* guilty pleasures in tv shows (such as Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives)
* sliced mangoes with chili salt… mmm…
* not having Mesothelioma
* being healthy overall
* having a loving family
* sharing breakfast with Lily
* cuddle times during Caioulle episodes
* our new house
* our new couches
* getting our new bedroom set — FINALLY SOON
* honeycomb cereal
* tortillas by themselves
* my new job
* good friends
* evenings with my husband after Lily’s bedtime
* having a dishwasher
* comfy pajamas
* moca almond fudge ice cream
* photography

Okay I’m pooped. That’s all I can think of right now. There’s plenty more though.

Lily’s pretty much moved in. Tink’s moved in. Everything is more or less back to normal. I’ve started my new job, and am now in my second week. It’s going great, and I’m really enjoying it so far. I like making a position my “own.” I like being able to be creative as a therapist, and creating new ways to help my clients. I am really loving it.

(Are you guys looking for fat loss pills? I’ve never had to, but maybe you do.)

You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate
energy policy.

You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.

You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.

You didn’t get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war.

You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq.

You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.

You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans, drown.

You didn’t get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich.

You didn’t get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark.

You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you, but helping other Americans…oh hell no.

And then when all that is done with, I have to worry about where my employment options are. I wish that was squared away, but it never works out that way. I have several options, but none of them are “for sure” yet, and I can’t even dedicate full anxiety to that, what with the upcoming move. It’s stressful.

I can’t wait till life settles down. Living in “float” status doesn’t work well for our stability and sense of safety, as an individual or as a family. At least we’ve got each other.